Men only think about sex…or almost only about sex. Even if some people dislike this we cannot even be upset with them. A large number of studies prove that genetics and biology are responsible for the creation of a behaviour that does not always characterize the ideal prince charming, the French magazine Femme Actuelle writes.

Men and women do not put sexuality on the same level. Women have to go through intimacy to reach sex, while men have sex to reach the intimacy. According to a high number of scientific studies these differences are biological.

For a woman love is the ultimate condition for desire and also a central preoccupation, which defines her as a woman. She needs to feel seductive and seduced to have sexuality. And if she does not feel desired she will not feel that she exists as woman. While a man does not need to feel seductive: even if he is physically repulsive he may feel virile and may have sexuality. 

American psychologists organized speed- dates between 43 women and men. After asking them detailed questions about the way they feel men had the systematic tendency to sexualize the attitude. They interpreted all the friendly or ambiguous gestures made by women as seduction attempts. On the opposite find male who can have a conversation and show sensitive more sexually attractive. Scientists prove that men definitely think with their penis …But we cannot be upset with them because this is genetics.

Sex compulsion and sentimental compulsion

Men want first of all sex, women want fist of all love. This basic gap between men and women is the result of different genetic programming. According to Helen Fischer, anthropologist at Rutgers University (New Jersey), the evolution has endowed us with three compulsions to push us more to reproduction. 

- sex compulsion: looking for sex intercourse with several partners;
- romantic love : focusing on one privileged partner;
- attachment : looking for a relationship which can replace the child- parent relationship; 

Each of these compulsions works in the brain due to a distinct system of specific neurons and hormones. These nervous systems are often connected between them. For instance when we fall in love the sexual desire towards the other also appears. But these , or sensations can also be disconnected, like in the case of adultery, or we can remain attached to somebody, while we live a romantic passion for somebody else.

For Helen Fisher, the fact that the three systems are distinct in the brain allows us to be relatively flexible in regards to our reproduction strategies.

Men are more prone to sex than to abstinence and tenderness as they produce more testosterone. Women produce naturally more oxytocin and imagine less sex without love and need much more time to attach to a man. 

Men are bigger hunters and more unfaithful than women, but this feature is relative. Sometimes they are even more romantic than women, according to an American study published in 2007. Moreover not all men have the same sex drive. According to a survey performed by Totesport, ¾ of British men who like fishing, would rather go fishing than have sex with their partners.

A test performed in a university campus showed that more than ¾ of men approached by a stranger, accepted her approach. Is this a sign of weakness? On the contrary, this is a sign of strength. Natural selection encourages male sex drive in all the species. The multiplication of sex relationships is a way for them to ensure offprings.

The success of a man consists in his ability to have children and not get involved in bringing them up.

De ce se gandesc barbatii numai la sex?

Barbatii se gandesc numai la sex…sau aproape numai la sex. Chiar daca unora le displace acest lucru, nu putem nimic macar sa ne suparam pe ei. Numeroase studii demonstreaza ca genetica si biologia sunt responsabile pentru crearea unor comportamente care nu caracterizeaza intotdeauna idealul de print sarmant, scrie revista franceza Femme Actuelle.

Barbatii si femeile nu pun sexualitatea pe acelasi nivel. Femeile trebuie sa treaca prin intimitate pana a ajuge la sex, in timp ce barbatii fac sex pentru a ajuge la intimitate. Potrivit unui numar mare de studii stiintifice aceste diferente sunt biologice.

Pentru o femeie dragostea nu este numai conditia indispensabila a dorintei, dar si o preocupare centrala, care o defineste ca femeie. Are nevoie sa se simta seducatoare si sedusa pentru a avea sexualitate. Iar daca nu se simte dorita nu va avea impresia de a exista ca femeie. In schimb un barbat nu are nevoie sa se simta seducator: chiar daca este respingator din punct de vedere fizic, se poate simti viril si poate avea sexualitate.

Psihologii americani au organizat intalniri rapide intre 43 de femei si de barbati, dupa care i-au supus unui chestionar detaliat in ceea ce priveste modul in care simt. Rezultatul: barbatii au tendinta de a sexualiza sistematic atitudinile. Ei interpreteaza toate gesturile amicale sau ambigue ale femeilor ca tentative de seductie. La polul opus femeile gasesc mai atragatori din punct de vedere sexual barbatii care pot purta o conversatie interesanta si care se arata sensibili. Oamenii de stiinta demonstreaza acest lucru, barbatii gandesc fara indoiala cu penisul…Dar nu putem sa ne suparam pe ei, pentru ca este o chestiune genetica.

Pulsiuni sexuale si pulsiuni sentimentale

Barbatii vor in primul rand sex, femeile vor in primul rand dragoste. Acest decalaj de baza intre barbati si femei este rezultatul unei programari genetice diferite. Potrivit lui Helen Fischer, antropolog la Uniresitatea Rutgers (New Jersey), evolutia ne-a dotat cu trei pulsioni de baza pentru a ne incita mai mult sa ne reproducem.

-pulsiunea sexuala: cautarea de raporturi sexuale cu mai multi parteneri;
-dragostea romantica : focalizarea atentiei asupra unui partener privilegiat;
- atasamentul : cautarea unei relatii care sa umple nevoia inlocuirii parintilor; 

Fiecare dintre aceste pulsiuni functioneaza in creier datorita unui sistem distinct de neuroni si de hormoni specifici. Aceste sisteme nervoase sunt deseori conectate intre ele. Spre exemplu, cand ne indragostim, apare si dorinta sexuala fata de celalalt. Dar aceste doua senzatii pot fi si deconectate, ca in cazul adulterului, sau putem ramane atasat de cineva, in timp ce traim o pasiune romantica fata de altcineva.

Pentru Helen Fisher, faptul ca cele trei sisteme sunt distincte in creier ne permite sa fim relative flexibili in ceea ce priveste strategiile noastre reproductive. Producand o cantitate mai mare de testosterone, barbatii sunt mai inclinati catre sex, decat catre abstinenta, tandrete sau fidelitate. Femeile secreta in mod natural mai multa oxitocina si isi imagineaza mai putin sexul fara dragoste si au nevoie de mult mai mult timp pentru a se atasa de un barbat. 

Barbatii sunt mai mari vanatori si mai infideli decat femeile, dar aceasta trasatura este relativa. Uneori sunt chiar mai romantici decat femeile potrivit unui studiu american publicat in 2007. In plus nu toti barbatii au acelasi apetit sexual. Potrivit unui sondaj realizat de Totesport, ¾ dintre britanicii pasionati de pescuit, prefera sa mearga la pescuit decat sa faca sex cu partenera.

Un test realizat intr-un campus universitar  a aratat ca mai mult de ¾ dintre barbatii abordati de o necunoscuta i-au acceptat avansurile. Un semn de slabiciune? Dimpotriva, este un semn de vigoare.Selectia naturala incurajeaza apetitul sexual la masculii din toate speciile. Multiplicarea relatiilor sexuale este un mod pentru ei de a-si asigura perpetuarea speciei.

Reusita unui barbat consta in abilitatea sa de a face copii peste tot si de a nu se ocupa de ei deloc.